Is anyone out there actually using market analysis—or is my Magic 8-Ball just as reliable as every fancy algorithm out there? I've crunched the numbers, consulted my stack of “gurus,” and even tried aligning the charts with the phases of the moon (because, clearly, market trends obey astrology now). But somehow, my portfolio's still performing like it's stuck in a perpetual Friday afternoon slump. What am I missing here? Any tips for distinguishing genuine insights from the hogwash floating around online?